Missed It By That Much

Right now, hundreds of millions of agonized souls on our poor, desecrated, war-scarred planet are wistfully pondering what might have been had the birth order in a certain American family been reversed …

Undoubtedly the most startling moment in Matt Lauer’s conversation with George W. Bush came in the first five minutes of the interview, when Bush recounted his mother’s miscarriage — and how she had showed him the fetus in a jar.

“She says to her teenage kid, ‘Here’s a fetus,’” Bush recounted to Lauer, referring to himself in the third person. “There’s no question that it affected me,” Bush added.

Missed it by that much! Sigh. What fates impose, that men must needs abide …

I won’t comment on why Barbara Bush had a fetus in a jar or why she showed it to teenage George. God knows what kind of twisted psychodynamics underlie the relationships in that clan. Don’t forget, this is a woman who thought Hurricane Katrina worked out well for the poor blacks of New Orleans. If you wanna delve into that psyche, be my guest. I prefer not to ruin my breakfast.

Besides, the skeletons in the Bush family closet don’t concern me half as much as the skeletons they produce outside that closet, out in the world where those of us who don’t stuff miscarried fetuses into Mason jars live.

None of this matters anyway. This tiny glimpse into the morbid inner-workings of la familia de Bush will go almost totally unnoticed, as will George’s tirelessly reiterated excuses for invading Iraq. Do you know why? Because no one watched the interview.

NBC foolishly ( or intentionally?) aired it opposite Dancing With The Stars!

The special edition of “Matt Lauer Reports” drew approximately 7 million total viewers, with a 1.7 rating/ 4 share in the adults 18-49 demo and a 2.2 rating/ 5 share in the adults 25-54 demo.

[…]

On Monday, during the 8-9 PM time period where the Bush interview aired, ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” won the hour with nearly 19 million viewers, while new editions of CBS comedies drew 8.8 million viewers and “House” on Fox drew 9.6 million viewers.

The Bush interview also drew lower demo numbers than the program that normally airs in that time period on NBC, “Chuck.”

Is this a sad statement on our political apathy as a nation, or the beginnings of true wisdom? Who’s dumb and who’s dumber: those who watched sitcoms or those who watched Bush try to defend his disastrous presidency? I’ll let you decide.

What do I know. I watched Monday Night Football.