One Step Closer To The Dream

It’s official. Corporations are the government, or at least they soon will be. This was largely the case already, but now a long established fact has been formally enshrined into law. The last measly barriers to complete corporate control of this country have been pushed away with as little effort as it takes for a child to knock down a sand castle. The Supreme Court just handed the keys to the kingdom to our friends at Exxon Mobil, General Electric, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, and all of the other fine, upstanding “individuals” whose right to free speech has been unjustly suppressed for so long …

Now, at last, “people” like Morgan Stanley and Viacom will be able to compete on a level playing field against my massive, twenty dollar donations to political candidates who, up until now, reliably voted against corporate interests in favor of my own selfish agenda. Oh, well. Who am I to stand in the way of free speech? “Let justice be done, though the heavens fall!”

Maybe we should even pay them reparations. I don’t think the 3 billion dollars in taxpayer subsidies that Exxon recently received even begins to right the wrong that’s been done to them, to say nothing of the 700 billion in TARP bailouts to Wall Street banks. Surely the custodians of our economic well-being deserve more? We’re talking about a systematic, decades-long infringement on their right to free speech — the most basic right there is. Allowing them to use even more of our money to fight against our interests is the least we can do. Simple justice demands it.

From now on, let’s allow them to decorate our soldier’s uniforms with corporate logos, too. Let every Iraqi and every Afghan see, emblazoned on every Marine’s helmet, the insignias of those corporate individuals responsible for bringing them freedom. Similarly, let’s demand that every elected official proudly display the colors of their biggest corporate sponsors, so we specifically know who to thank for keeping us free from the dreaded, godless specter of European-style socialism in the coming years.

How fitting that this decision came along so close to Martin Luther King Day, because it has, to paraphrase King himself, helped us live up to our creed. Five brave justices have compelled us to live up to our values by extending one of our most cherished freedoms to a much misunderstood, much maligned group of hard-working Americans; a group that, all too often in our history, has been denied a seat at the table. Now, thankfully, our long suffering fellow citizens in Corporate America can finally step out of the shadows and have their day in the sun.

God bless you, Justice Roberts.