Thursday, January 21, 2010

Good Pure Fun

At long last, it looks like I might be able to realize my dream of becoming a basketball star:

(MYFOX NATIONAL) - The inaugural season of an all-white American basketball team is set to begin this June in the Southeast, the Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle has reported.

In a news release Sunday, the All-American Basketball Alliance (AABA) announced in a statement, “Only players that are natural-born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league.”

According to NBC Sports , Don “Moose” Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA and former pro-wrestling promoter, hopes to get the league started in 12 southeastern cities.

Lewis told the Chronicle it has nothing to do with racism.

“There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”

His desire is to get away from “street ball” played by “people of color.” He believes that fans are unhappy with how the NBA is run and cites as an example Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas’ recent guilty plea on a federal gun possession charge.

“Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” he said. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country, we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

Finally, a chance for white slobs like me to show the country we can do more than just bowl and play golf.

But it has nothing do with racism, see. We just want to re-establish a purer form of basketball, one based on fundamentals, as opposed to the tainted, mongrelized form of ‘street ball’ played by people of color. We just want a venue where people like us can feel safe, and not get flipped-off, attacked, or have to watch over-sexed jungle bun … athletes grabbing their crotches.

It’s just good pure fun. There’s nothing racist about it, you see?

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