With a summer like this, you can’t tell my Dad there’s global warming.
“I think Al Gore and his group should be out here and tell us about this global warming stuff. I think he might have a change of mind. We’ve had a cool July,” says Orlan Dreyer, Willow City Farmer.
Well, listen up, Elmer. You know how people like Rush Limbaugh always say not to pay attention to dips in the stock market because, long term, it always trends upward? This is the same principle. Cold weather isn’t going away. It’s just that the average temperature of the earth is gradually rising, like Rush Limbaugh’s portfolio, okay? This overall rise in average temperatures is potentially very, very bad news for people who have to live, work, and eat on planet Earth, like wheat farmers. Got it?
Incidentally, you say you’re Norwegian. Do you have a valid birth certificate?