She reminded me of a sexier, kinkier, russet-haired version of Miss Nancy from Romper Room making sure we all knew that today was a BIG DAY!
So where was I?
Uh, I dunno. Going to work? Doing the laundry? Watching it happen on TV? (Bingo!) The same thing I do every day. Why ask? An individual’s immediate, perceptual experience of a given event may be important to them, but it isn’t really all that significant in a larger context, and it’s beyond tedious to hear about.
Just once, I’d like to hear some man-in-the-street testimonial of this sort that had some symbolic or metaphorical value:
Well, I was sitting at my breakfast nook eating Grape Nuts and doing a crossword puzzle, trying to figure out a seven letter word for masturbation that starts with ‘O’, when word came over the TV that the U.S. had captured Manuel Noriega. I stopped, stared at the television, marvelled at what a historic moment it was, and resumed eating. When my children came downstairs, I told them, “Look, kids, this is an historic day,” to which they brusquely replied, “Who cares?” “I hate history,” and “I can never remember dates.” That was that. I went back to my crossword, with terms like ‘Operation Just Cause’, ‘Pre-Dawn Vertical Insertion’ and ‘Operation Nifty Package’ jangling around my head when it suddenly hit me: Onanism! That was it! Onanism, a word I’d never heard outside of Bible study. Now, and for the rest of my days, I will associate the glorious climax of Operation Just Cause with defeating Panama and re-discovering a synonym for masturbation. Ah, yes, January 3, 1990, a magic day!
[cross-posted at Bad Attitudes.]