The Jehovah's Witnesses just stopped by. I really don't mind. They're usually surprised when I tell them I have, indeed, read the bible (I don't tell them that's precisely why I'm not a Christian, ha ha). Once I quote some scripture, they sense they might have a convert on the hook. The problem is, I quote Deuteronomy. At that point, they sense their quota slipping. It's pretty easy to confound them if you know your stuff. But I'm a nice guy and usually hold back. I typically accept their literature and send them on their merry way. I offered them a drink once. That was funny. So, anyway, I've been flipping through their latest and read the following:
What Happens to Us When We Die?
What The Bible Teaches: At death, humans cease to exist. "The dead . . . are conscious of nothing at all," states Ecclesiastes 9:5. Since the dead cannot know, feel, or experience anything at all, they cannot harm - or help - the living. - Psalm 146:3,4.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but if that's the case, what's the point? And from what this says, the dead sound a hell of a lot like many living people I know.
The only reason I've ever considered being saved was so I could go to heaven and meet all of my dead heroes, like James Madison, Lord Byron and Sammy Davis Jr. (Okay, Lord Byron probably didn't make it, but two out of three ain't bad.)
Further down, it says we should avoid repeating set formulas in our prayers. That's the problem. I guess my constant prayer, "Dear Lord, let me have sex with her just once," is a set formula. No wonder He's not answering!
I'm going to go make cornbread. Be back soon.
1 comment:
I once knew a guy who had the Jehovah's Witness thing completely figured out. If he saw two or three people wearing ties/dresses coming up the walk, he'd strip naked, open the the door, and say,
"Why hi, there. What can I do for you good folks?"
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