I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the NRA for keeping us all free. If it wasn’t for them, government would just keep getting bigger and more intrusive. Out of control government agencies like the NSA would probably be spying on us, listening to our phone calls and monitoring our browsing habits, etc. We would have hyper-militarized police departments bullying the citizenry, banging down doors, shooting people at the drop of a hat and seizing property. We would have ridiculously high defense budgets and we would always be at war, ceaselessly bombing and invading other countries, setting up torture chambers, and generally making the entire world despise us. But that doesn’t happen because we're armed!
Yesiree Bob, if it wasn’t for all those pot-bellied white dudes and their rifles, we’d all be living in a regular 1984 type scenario! So if your kid gets killed at the next school shooting, just remember that freedom isn’t free and that’s the price we all have to pay for liberty, mmmkay?