Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Tweet Me Not

Don’t follow me on Twitter. I won’t be there. Call me retro if you want, but the last thing we need is a communication medium that restricts your thoughts to 140 characters or less. Between tweeting and texting, we’ll all be using a form of Newspeak within a generation, and the worst thing about it is that we will have voluntarily chosen it. We will have been the willing agents of our own linguistic devolution. Just give everyone an iPhone and a satellite dish and American culture will take care of the rest. We’ll be reduced to having two-hundred word vocabularies in no time. 

Soon, our entire political discourse will consist of a few simple phrases that leave no room for unacceptable thoughts: Job creators good. Entitlements bad. WMD scary. All options must be on the table.

The Democrats, as always, will counter with a bold alternative: Job creators good. Responsible entitlement cuts good. WMD scary. All options must be on the table.

It will be tax cuts good, tax cuts for job creators doubleplusgood, freedom.

That’s what politics will sound like in some dystopian future America, when everyone speaks in … Oh, wait … never mind.

2 comments:

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