Devolution And Economic Growth

Our earliest ancestor, Darwin wrote, was probably “a hairy quadruped, furnished with a tail and pointed ears, probably arboreal in its habits.” That would have been sometime between 85 and 55 million years ago. We’ve evolved a lot since then:

Dave Hurban, a Dynasty Tattoo artist from Newfield, N.J., surgically implanted four magnets into his wrist. Why? Basically, it’s a cool (or at least unique) way to hold his iPod Nano in place without a pesky wristband.

Homo Sapien just keeps getting better and better. We’ve gone from fishing termites out of their mounds with a stick to magnetically attaching iPods to our body parts in a scant 200,000 years, which is about how long anatomically modern humans have been around. Doesn’t progress feel good? If there is extraterrestrial life in the universe, they ain’t got nuthin’ on us. They probably still wear pesky wristbands.

There is an economic benefit to this as well. The job creators are getting into this revolutionary new technology, which could boost economic growth:

Back in March, it was revealed that Nokia has issued patents for “vibrating tattoos,” which could be permanently attached to a person’s body and used to alert them when they were receiving a phone call or text message.

Don’t let the horses out of the barn yet, folks, but I smell recovery. Maybe we should speed things along by giving Nokia a tax break. Prosperity could be just around the corner. I’m feeling bullish on magnets and bearish on brain cells. Invest accordingly.

There’s no reason why every child in the country can’t have a vibrating tattoo and an iPod attached to their wrist by the end of this decade. All we need is the will to see it through. I’m confident America will get there.

Behold, the future: