They were expecting this guy:
But this is the fellow who showed up:
Sure, they might have bumper stickers that say “My God is a Jewish carpenter,” but it’s unlikely that they’ve ever considered what that really means. Jewish people in ancient Palestine didn’t have blond hair and blue eyes. The natives of that region, then as now, tend to have dark hair and a more tawny hue. He wouldn’t have looked like Jeffrey Hunter in King of Kings.
And as a carpenter, Jesus, even at the age of 32, would have probably been prematurely aged — wrinkled, leathery and weather beaten, perhaps even stooped and arthritic. It’s a hard enough profession in the age of power tools. Think of how arduous it must have been without them.
If he showed up on the set of The 700 Club, he’d be rudely sent away and told that the cleaning crew wasn’t allowed in until after midnight. Some of them, momentarily forgetting their aversion to big government, would probably report him to the Department of Homeland Security.
If he popped off and said something like, “Woe unto you that are rich, for ye hath received your consolation,” he’d really be ass out. Mitt Romney wouldn’t even give him a job cleaning his swimming pools.
Unless he could manage to squeeze some Republican partisanship and free market ideology into the Beatitudes, he’d find out real quick that a messiah who preaches humility and love has no niche in modern America. His skill sets would not be needed.