She’s not on the most-wanted list, but yes, the FBI did issue an alert about Barbie.
Apparently, they were simply trying to give law enforcement agencies a heads up — that the new “Video Girl Barbie” comes with a hidden camera, which could be used to record child pornography.
“The alert’s intent was to ensure law enforcement agencies were aware that the doll, like any other video-capable equipment, could contain evidence and to not disregard such an item during a search,” the FBI explained in a statement.
In other words, during the course of a search, it’s imperative that agents remember to raid the toy box. You never know, a group of armed men stealing some little girl’s Barbie doll might be the only thing that keeps that little girl safe from predatory adults.
By the FBI’s own admission, these Barbies haven’t ever been used in a crime (yet). They’re just guessing that they could be. They have no experience or empirical data to go on, just a hunch. This means that some enterprising G-Man, probably working alone in a quiet, solitary place where he wouldn’t be disturbed, gleaned all these dark and prurient uses for “Video Girl Barbie” solely on the basis of his own instinct and imagination. I bet you couldn’t have done that. I know I couldn’t. But hey, we’re not professionals, are we?
Somewhere J. Edgar Hoover is smiling, although he’s probably trying to send a desperate message from beyond the grave to all of his agents in the field: Don’t forget the Ken doll!