Friday, July 9, 2010

Rules Of Etiquette

Meet General James Mattis, soon to be our next Imperial Proconsul for the Middle East, otherwise known as Centcom Commander. He’s led forces in both Iraq and Afghanistan, but preferred the latter because it offered more opportunities to freely indulge in one of his favorite hobbies, killing:

“It’s fun to shoot some people. I’ll be right up front with you, I like brawling.”

“You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil,” Mattis said during a panel discussion. “You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them.”

The Secretary of Defense has assured us that General Mattis won’t be granting any interviews to Rolling Stone, but what difference would that make? The rules of etiquette here seem pretty clear. If you criticize the boss, however mildly, you get fired; if you admit that you enjoy killing people, you get promoted!

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