Thursday, March 18, 2010

More Compassionate Conservatism

Some Republican state legislators down in Georgia are concerned about the connection between drug abuse and joblessness, so they’ve devised a bill to tackle the problem head on: mandatory drug testing for people on unemployment.

With Georgia’s unemployment rate over ten percent, some state lawmakers want those receiving unemployment benefits to undergo yearly random drug testing.

Rep. Michael Harden (R-Toccoa) is sponsoring HB 1389 that would also apply to anyone receiving state assistance or state administered federal assistance.

“Upon the first the offense they will lose those benefits of the taxpayers until the period they pass a positive drug screening... upon the second offense they will lose those benefits for two years,” says Harden.

He says the recipients would be required to pay $25 for the tests and would also lose their benefits if they refuse to take the tests.

“We have to make sure that these people, particularly if they’re on the unemployment line, have the ability to go back to work, and one of the things that’s preventing them from having that opportunity is the fact that they can’t get past the drug test,” says co-sponsor Rep. Jimmy Pruett (R-Eastman).

The people of Georgia are blessed to have these two beautiful minds working on their behalf. It’s not necessarily the recession that’s causing such high unemployment, you see, it’s drug use, because this drug use is denying people, “these people,” the opportunity of passing a pre-job drug screening, which keeps them out of the workforce and inflates the unemployment rolls. And there you have it, post hoc ergo propter hoc. I bet you feel pretty silly for not having figured that out, huh?

Having identified the problem, the solution becomes obvious. It’s so obvious, in fact, that any pair of morons could have come up with it. Force people who don’t have jobs to pay $25 for the privilege of submitting their bodily fluids for inspection. If they test dirty for drugs, cut-off their benefits until we decide when to test them again. If they test dirty a second time, cut them off for two years. And while we’re at it, let’s include people who receive state assistance of any kind. Why let the welfare cheats slide? If this results in hordes of destitute and desperate people who are unable to feed and cloth themselves, well, let that be lesson about the evils of drugs.

I can’t imagine where anybody got the idea that Republicans hate the poor.

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