Personality Disorders At The Pentagon: An Overview

I was up most of the night tossing and turning, worried sick that the Senate might not approve the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2010. Then a soothing voice said to me in the darkness, “Shhh, it’s okay, baby. This country is thoroughly fucking insane and loves war, remember?” Then I dozed right off.

I was right to do so: The Senate passed the bill 93-1, with six abstentions.

That’s the bill that Robert Gates and his thorazine-addled sidekick, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Adm. Mike Mullen, pimped for the other day that will ‘temporarily’ increase the size of the Army by 30,000 troops.

Temporarily. Uh-huh. Just one more drink, then I promise I’ll stop, honest.

Now that I think about it, it really is only a temporary increase. That number of 30,000 will surely drop as a result of death, dismemberment and suicide. So you can call this a rare example of truth telling among our leaders.

And here’s the icing on the cake (or, as I see it, the crusty blood on the corpse), the bill doesn’t provide funding for the increase. That means another emergency spending bill, like the one we just passed last month.

The closer you get to the bottom of Bankrupcty Hill, the faster you slide. Wee!

My habitual loathing for the Pentagon and all of its wasteful, destructive and stupid habits is giving way to an odd sense of concern. These people are sick. They have a disease and need treatment. A healthy entity does not exhibit this kind of behavior. Is there something in the mineral water at the Pentagon? Did they use lead-based paint for the walls? They’re impulsive, reckless, and have no regard for the consequences of their actions. They also lack empathy and display a condition that is common among mentally ill people known as “flat affect.” The Joint Chiefs don’t need a another spending bill, they need shrinks, an army of them.

Don’t worry. I assure you that my concern for the mental health of the War Department is only temporary.