The Next Greatest Generation

Understandably, everyone is going on about the big Wall Street bailout of '08. What's it going to cost? What's it going to entail? Is there hope for America's financial future? Will we all be in bread lines come Monday morning? Legitimate questions, all. But I have a suggestion. Let's just step back, take a deep breath, and look at the big, big picture. If you do, it becomes clear there's both bad news and good news on the horizon. The bad news first:

First, in addition to a thoroughly corrupt, tottering financial system on the verge of bankrupting us all, the U.S. is blessed with yet another voracious, ineptly managed institution that is bleeding us dry, the Pentagon. The Pentagon exists by the same organic principle (or should I say operational philosophy?) as a garden variety cancer cell: survive, grow, spread, kill. While everyone is, properly, discussing the 700 billion or so being kicked upstairs to protect the financial wizards of Wall Street, the Star-Spangled Boys in Blue at the Defense Department have a big payday coming as well. Now, our defense budget is greater than all the other defense budgets of all the other nations on earth combined, and that doesn't include the costs of our glorious wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (those are "off budget.") We also have over 700 military bases throughout the world. We even have a military base in Iceland -- Iceland, you know, in case the Eskimos paddle over from Greenland to steal the women or something. So if the bailout doesn't ruin you, the Pentagon surely will.

Now for the good news. Tensions between the U.S. and Pakistan are ratcheting up. Pakistan's President condemned unilateral U.S. attacks inside his country at the U.N., and the chairmen of the joint chiefs tells us a "big US effort is needed" to combat growing numbers of insurgents in Pakistani territory. So here's the deal. If we do fall into Great Depression II, World War III might be just around the corner to get us out of it! It worked once before, why not give it another shot? All us boys can go fight for Uncle Sam and Rosie the Riveter will be back to work at the factory. So stop looking at the dark side, America. We might be the next Greatest Generation!

And you thought our government was incompetent!