Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Great Moments in American Civilization

H.L. Mencken said nobody ever went broke underestimating the bad taste of the American people. His observation is strikingly confirmed by the latest offering on the G4 network, Hurl! It’s a really swell show. Contestants gorge themselves on hot dogs, burgers, macaroni and cheese and all sorts of other goodies, then they undergo a series of ‘physical challenges’ designed to make them vomit it all back up. The contestant who can jump off high dives or twirl around on swings without puking up his Hot Pockets and chocolate pie is the winner! I know, feeding Christians to lions or watching gladiators fight to the death would be much more entertaining, but give it time. We’ll get there. For those of you with fully developed frontal lobes or normally functioning thyroid glands, G4 is a channel aimed at young males who, judging from the programming, have already discovered masturbation but haven’t yet gotten laid, so their mental universe revolves around porno mags, ultimate fighting and Nintendo games. The president of the network, one Neal Tiles, calls G4 a “multimedia destination that’s ‘relevant’ and ‘authentic’ to the interests of today’s young male demo.” So I guess gluttony and vomiting as spectator sport is relevant and authentic to today’s young male “demo.”

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